Couple Sparks Debate for Charging Daughter Rent after She Decided Not to Go to College
Parenting often demands difficult decisions, especially when preparing children for the realities of adulthood. Recently, Erika and Cody Archie, a Texas rancher couple, found themselves at the center of a heated online debate after choosing to charge their 19-year-old daughter, Kylee, $200 in monthly rent when she decided not to pursue college. Their reasoning was simple: teaching financial responsibility and fostering independence. Yet, this choice ignited a firestorm of opinions, from praise for their tough-love approach to criticism of the potential strain it might impose on their child.
This debate isn’t just about one family’s decision. It taps into a broader conversation about the challenges facing young adults today, including rising housing costs, shifting cultural norms, and the evolving dynamics between parents and children. With half of 18 to 29-year-olds now living with their parents—a number that has reached its highest in 50 years—this story forces us to ask: What is the best way to prepare the next generation for financial and personal independence?
The Tough-Love Decision That Sparked a Nationwide Debate
@bar7ranch Do you charge your adult children rent in your home? #ParentTok #Parenting #KeepRanchin #KingOfTikTok #RanchLife #Ranch #RanchTok #AgTok ♬ original sound – Bar 7 Ranch
In May 2022, Kylee Deason graduated from high school. Two weeks later, her parents, Erika and Cody Archie, implemented a policy that would divide opinions across social media: they asked Kylee to pay $200 a month in rent if she chose to continue living at home. For Erika and Cody, this wasn’t about the money but about instilling a sense of financial discipline and preparing their daughter for the responsibilities of adulthood.
Cody, taking a firm stance, explained their rationale: “Since [Kylee] has graduated, I told her… ‘June the first, our rent’s due if you continue to live here.’” He defended the decision as fair, calling $200 a month “plenty cheap to live like a grub in your parents’ house.” Erika, while agreeing with the principle, admitted she initially found the move a bit harsh. Still, she supported the idea, noting, “That’s cheaper than she eats in food. We think it teaches them a good lesson in paying bills.”
The Archies shared their decision with their nearly one million TikTok followers, sparking a mix of praise and backlash. Some saw the move as a valuable life lesson, while others questioned whether it was an undue burden on a young adult navigating her first steps into independence.
How the Archies’ Decision Reflects Today’s Economic Challenges
The Archies’ decision to charge their daughter rent came at a time when an increasing number of young adults are remaining at home well into their twenties. According to the Pew Research Center, as of July 2022, half of Americans aged 18 to 29 lived with their parents—the highest proportion in 50 years. This shift reflects not just changing cultural norms but also the harsh economic realities faced by today’s youth.
Rising rent prices, skyrocketing housing costs, and stagnant wages have made it challenging for young adults to gain financial independence. The median monthly rent in the United States hit record highs in 2022, while house prices continued to climb, especially in major cities. These factors have led to the normalization of multigenerational households, with approximately 60 million Americans now living in such arrangements—a figure that has quadrupled since the 1970s.
Kylee’s situation represents a microcosm of these larger trends. Her parents framed their decision as a step toward preparing her for financial independence. However, for many young adults, staying at home is not merely a choice but a necessity. The debate surrounding the Archies’ approach highlights the tension between economic realities and traditional expectations of independence, forcing families to redefine what it means to support their children through adulthood.
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Support for the Archies’ Approach
Many people resonated with the Archies’ decision, viewing it as a proactive way to instill financial discipline. Supporters praised the couple for preparing Kylee for the realities of adult life, especially in a world where financial literacy is often overlooked. Comments flooded their social media, with some recounting similar experiences from their own upbringing.
One supporter shared, “My mother did. I chose not to go to college, but I did get a job. I was expected to pay rent, and I didn’t begrudge her at all. It’s what should happen.” Another highlighted a common practice among parents: charging rent and later returning the money as a surprise for significant milestones, such as weddings or moving out. One viewer said, “I paid $100 a month, then my parents gave it back to me as a wedding present. It really helped to get started.”
Advocates of the Archies’ decision argue that these lessons go beyond money. They emphasize the importance of teaching young adults to budget, prioritize expenses, and understand the value of hard-earned income. For many, this approach symbolizes tough love—an essential ingredient in fostering resilience and independence in the face of life’s challenges.
Why Some Criticize the Archies’ Tough-Love Approach
While many supported the Archies’ decision, others strongly criticized it, viewing the move as unnecessary pressure on a young adult just beginning her journey into independence. Detractors argued that parents have an obligation to provide unconditional support during a child’s transition to adulthood, especially in today’s challenging economic climate.
One commenter stated bluntly, “You decided to have a child…not the other way around. Where else would they go if they didn’t reside home with you?” Others shared personal stories of resentment stemming from similar experiences, with one person revealing, “My mother made me pay $500 a month to live at home with her, and this was 20 years ago. She never returned the money, and the only thing it accomplished was filling me with resentment and putting me at a deficit.”
Critics also highlighted the potential emotional strain such arrangements could create, particularly if children perceive the arrangement as punitive rather than supportive. For some, charging rent seemed to prioritize financial lessons over fostering a sense of security and trust. This backlash underscores the delicate balance parents must navigate when trying to teach responsibility without inadvertently alienating their children.
Striking a Balance Between Support and Independence
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The debate surrounding the Archies’ decision highlights a universal parenting challenge: finding the right balance between offering support and encouraging independence. While opinions remain divided, many agree that the key lies in tailoring strategies to the unique needs and circumstances of each family.
For some, charging rent can be a valuable teaching tool, as long as it’s coupled with open communication and clear intentions. Approaches like the rent-return strategy, where parents save the money and give it back as a gift for significant milestones, can provide both financial education and emotional support. Other families may opt for alternative methods, such as guiding children through budgeting exercises, introducing financial literacy programs, or setting gradual expectations for shared household contributions.
Ultimately, this balance requires parents to consider not only economic realities but also the emotional and developmental needs of their children. By fostering an environment of mutual respect and understanding, families can help young adults navigate the transition into independence without sacrificing the trust and connection that form the foundation of strong relationships.
A Lesson in Love and Responsibility
The Archies’ story is more than a debate about charging rent—it’s a mirror reflecting the challenges families face in today’s world. Parenting often feels like walking a tightrope, trying to teach responsibility while ensuring your children feel supported. Erika and Cody’s tough-love approach raises an important question: How do we equip the next generation for independence without making them feel abandoned?
For some, charging rent teaches valuable lessons about budgeting and accountability. For others, it can feel like adding unnecessary pressure during a transitional phase of life. There’s no universal answer because every family’s dynamics are different. What matters most is the intention behind the decision. Is it about preparing your child for adulthood, or is it rooted in frustration or financial necessity? The difference can shape how the lesson is received.
Ultimately, the goal is the same: to prepare young adults to stand on their own while reminding them that home is a place of love and guidance. Whether it’s through teaching budgeting skills, offering emotional support, or a mix of both, the real lesson lies in balance. As society continues to shift, so too will the ways families navigate this journey. And perhaps that’s the greatest takeaway—parenting is an evolving art, not a rigid formula.
Featured image from Bar 7 Ranch on Facebook