All a parent wants for their child is happiness. Of course, sometimes this wish is clouded when you have to drag a screaming child out of the grocery store. Or clean fish crackers out of every crevice of your car. Or endure snarky comments and slamming doors from your teenager. But all hair-pulling moments aside, the general objective of parenting in one way or another is to give your kids happiness in life.
Now that I have a daughter of my own, I realize what a daunting task this is. What are the best things to say, do, and teach in order to ensure a child’s lifelong happiness? Unfortunately, like most things in life and parenting, there are no guarantees. However, there is one thing parents can do that studies show shapes a child’s happiness throughout their adult life. And it’s as simple as giving a hug.
Studies Show Parental Affection Brings Happiness To Children
Darcia Narvaez, professor of psychology at the University of Notre Dame, set out to discover whether parental affection brings happiness. She interviewed adults and asked them to reflect on the level of affection they received from their parents during childhood. Narvaez found that those who received more affection displayed less depression and anxiety in later life. Adults who felt their parents showed less affection had poorer mental health and more distress in social situations. In other words, this study shows that giving your child affection brings happiness and peace as they age. (1)
But showing your child love and care affects more than just their mood and mental state. Another study found parental affection to lower a child’s risk of disease throughout their life. So while a simple hug may not seem like a cure, it’s apparently a better remedy than most. Affection brings happiness in more ways than one! (2)
Showing Your Kids More Affection
If your reaction to this study was anything like mine, you’re chasing your kids around the house trying to smother them in hugs and kisses. But while that may seem like the logical solution, physical affection isn’t the only aspect important to your child’s happiness.
During her study, Narvaez asked the participants four different questions regarding how their parents showed them affection as a child. Here are each of the questions, as well as some ideas of how to show your kids more affection in each area. (1)
Did You Feel Supported By Your Caregivers?
Supporting your children in all their endeavors is an excellent way to show your affection. You can offer support by listening and being understanding, encouraging hobbies and passions, and loving your kids in spite of their mistakes.
Did You Play Freely Outside And Inside?
Sometimes showing affection means letting your kids play, explore, and discover on their own. It’s important to set boundaries and rules, of course. But make sure your child is free to roam within those boundaries and do your best to keep from hovering and micromanaging.
Did You Do Things As A Family Inside And Outside The Home?
While letting your kids play and entertain themselves is important, doing activities together as a family is equally as important. Even when life is busy, be sure you’re making time for family time. Schedule it on your calendar if you have to! Even something as simple as a board game or trip to the park can create loving memories that your kids will cherish forever.
How Much Did You Receive Physical Affection?
And we’re back to the hugs and kisses! Just remember that there are more ways to show affection than a loving embrace. A pat on the shoulder, a high-five, a massage, holding hands, tucking them into bed. All of these and more are effective ways to show your child you love them.
Affection Brings Happiness, Obviously
When it comes right down to it, do we really need a study to tell us that love will make your kids happy? Talk about stating the obvious! Chances are you’re already doing exactly what you need to do to give your child the love and affection they need to be happy. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Provide support, spend time together, share a hug, and your and your kids will find happiness for years to come.