Woman Diagnosed With ADHD Later In Life Explains The Three ‘Defining Traits’ People May Miss
As childhood’s echoes fade, the adult world presents its own set of challenges, often revealing aspects of ourselves that remained hidden or misunderstood in our younger years. Such is the case for many adults diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), a condition traditionally tied to the boisterous energy of youth. Among them is a woman whose late diagnosis opened her eyes to subtle yet profound traits of ADHD that go far beyond the common narrative of distraction and restlessness. In this feature, we delve into her personal revelations and the three defining but frequently overlooked traits of ADHD in adults that could reshape how we understand this complex condition.
@rebelwithoutadrink As a late diagnosed ADHD adult, I had no idea these were considered ADHD symptoms. Looking back on my life makes so much more sense knowing this! #adhd #adhdinwomen #adhdtiktok
♬ original sound – Coach Jennifer
Understanding ADHD in Adults
While ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) is often spotlighted as a childhood disorder, the narrative is significantly shifting. Recent data indicates a notable surge in ADHD diagnoses among adults, suggesting that the disorder does not merely fade with age as previously thought. “An increasing number of adults are being diagnosed with ADHD, a condition that was once believed to be outgrown,” highlights a study from JAMA, which noted that the prevalence of adult ADHD diagnoses had doubled between 2007 and 2016. The evolution in understanding ADHD in adults stems not only from increased awareness but also from a deeper appreciation of how symptoms manifest differently from those in children. Adults with ADHD might not exhibit overt hyperactivity, which is a hallmark in children. Instead, their challenges often lie in less visible but equally disruptive symptoms such as disorganization, poor time management, and difficulty following through with tasks. Moreover, the complications in diagnosing ADHD in adults are compounded by the fact that its symptoms often overlap with or are masked by other mental health conditions. This leads to misdiagnosis or a complete oversight of ADHD as a potential underlying cause of difficulties. “Most cases of ADHD are diagnosed during childhood, but signs displayed in childhood are often overlooked or misdiagnosed,” explains Coach Jennifer Salzman, shedding light on the complexity of adult diagnosis.
First Trait: The Interest-Based Nervous System
One of the most enlightening perspectives on adult ADHD comes from understanding the concept of an interest-based nervous system. Unlike the typical notion of ADHD as merely a deficit of attention, this trait highlights an inconsistent attention that activates not through necessity or obligation but through genuine interest. Dr. William Dodson, a specialist in ADHD, elaborates on this unique characteristic: “ADHD doesn’t actually cause a deficit of attention, it causes inconsistent attention that is only activated by certain circumstances,” citing “interest, passion, novelty, challenge, or urgency” as primary triggers. This nuanced understanding of attention in ADHD individuals suggests that they are not incapable of focus; rather, their focus is selectively tuned to what genuinely captures their interest. Coach Jennifer Salzman, known on social media as @rebelwithoutadrink, provides a personal insight into this phenomenon. “The interest-based system means that those with ADHD tend to prioritize interesting topics over important ones, even if they come with a consequence or add pressure to completing another task,” she says. The implications of this trait are profound in both personal and professional settings. For adults with ADHD, engaging in tasks that lack inherent interest can be particularly challenging, often leading to procrastination or neglect despite the apparent importance of the task. Medcircle, a mental health resource, adds, “And while everyone loves that feeling of accomplishment from a difficult task, those with ADHD take greater pride in it—especially, as society often emphasizes importance rather than interest.”
Second Trait: Emotional Hyper-Arousal
Another defining yet often overlooked trait of ADHD in adults is emotional hyper-arousal. This condition manifests as an intense, rapid, and overwhelming emotional response to everyday occurrences, significantly differing from the normative emotional reactions most people experience. Jennifer Salzman, reflecting on her personal journey, describes this state as having “an intense, rapid and overwhelming response to things,” a sentiment she lived with for years before understanding its connection to ADHD. Dr. William Dodson further explains the underpinnings of this phenomenon in those with ADHD: “People with ADHD have passionate thoughts and emotions that are more intense than those of the average person. Their highs are higher and their lows are lower.” He elaborates that this heightened emotional experience means individuals may feel both happiness and criticism more powerfully than their peers, adding a layer of emotional complexity to their daily lives. The implications of emotional hyper-arousal are significant, affecting not just personal well-being but also social interactions and relationships. Individuals with ADHD might find themselves in a constant battle with their emotions, which can appear disproportionate to the actual events triggering them. This can lead to misunderstandings and strained relationships, as their reactions can seem exaggerated or unfounded to those without ADHD. 
Third Trait: Rejection Sensitivity
Rejection sensitivity is a profound and pervasive aspect of ADHD that significantly impacts interpersonal relationships and self-esteem. It manifests as an intense sensitivity to rejection, criticism, or the perception thereof, often leading to severe emotional pain. Jennifer Salzman shares her insights into this debilitating trait, noting, “That feeling of intense emotional pain whenever we feel like we’re being criticized or rejected,” which captures the essence of the experience for many with ADHD. Dr. William Dodson elaborates on the severity of this condition, known medically as rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD). “People with ADHD experience fear of rejection more intensely,” he explains, describing how this fear can manifest as “an impressive, instantaneous rage at the person or situation responsible for causing the pain” or internalize as “a full, major mood disorder complete with suicidal ideation,” often leading to misdiagnosis as a rapid cycling mood disorder. The profound impact of RSD can lead to avoidance behaviors, where individuals with ADHD might shy away from situations where there is a perceived risk of rejection. This can limit their social, professional, and personal growth, as they may hold back from opportunities or relationships for fear of negative outcomes.
Coping Mechanisms and Management Strategies
Navigating ADHD in adulthood requires more than just understanding its symptoms; it necessitates a robust set of coping mechanisms and strategies tailored to the unique needs of each individual. For many, like Jennifer Salzman, finding effective ways to manage ADHD traits has been transformative. “An effective ADHD management plan needs two parts: medication to level the neurological playing field and a new set of rules that teach you how to get engaged on demand,” she explains. This dual approach underscores the necessity of addressing both the biological and behavioral aspects of ADHD.
- Medication: Stimulant medications are commonly prescribed to help manage the core symptoms of ADHD. They enhance focus and prevent distractions, making it easier for individuals to engage in tasks once they start. However, Jennifer notes that while medications are effective in keeping the brain from getting distracted, “they do not help you get engaged in the first place.” This points to the importance of complementing medication with behavioral strategies.
- Behavioral Strategies: Developing personalized strategies that cater to an interest-based nervous system can dramatically improve task engagement and completion. Dr. Dodson suggests creating your own “owner’s manual” for sparking interest. This might include techniques like “body-doubling,” where having another person present helps maintain focus, or “injecting interest” into mundane tasks by linking them to more stimulating thoughts or outcomes.
- Support Systems: Beyond medication and individual strategies, the support of understanding peers, family, and professionals plays a crucial role. A supportive environment can provide the external motivation and affirmation needed to navigate the emotional turbulence of ADHD. As Dr. Dodson advises, having a “cheerleader” who believes in the individual’s capabilities and worth is essential, especially during challenging times. This person acts as a constant reminder that the individual is capable and valued, despite the struggles they face.
- Educational and Workplace Accommodations: Recognizing the need for adjustments in learning and work environments is also vital. This might involve structured breaks, varied tasks to maintain interest, or flexible working hours to accommodate fluctuating concentration levels. These accommodations help individuals with ADHD harness their strengths and mitigate their challenges.
- Community Engagement: Lastly, engaging with communities and networks that understand ADHD can provide invaluable resources and a sense of belonging. Online forums, support groups, and educational workshops offer opportunities for sharing experiences and strategies, reducing the isolation that often comes with ADHD.
Embracing the Full Spectrum of ADHD in Adulthood
As we have explored throughout this article, ADHD in adulthood is a multifaceted condition that extends beyond the simple struggles with inattention and hyperactivity often portrayed in childhood narratives. The personal stories and expert insights shared here highlight the importance of recognizing the less visible but impactful traits such as an interest-based nervous system, emotional hyper-arousal, and rejection sensitivity. Acknowledging these aspects is crucial not only for those living with ADHD but also for their families, friends, and colleagues, as it fosters understanding and facilitates more effective support and management strategies. As society progresses in its understanding of ADHD, it becomes increasingly important to tailor approaches that accommodate the unique needs and strengths of each individual. Whether through medication, behavioral strategies, or supportive environments, the goal is to empower those with ADHD to lead fulfilling lives. Let this article serve as a call to action for more research, better resources, and a continued dialogue about the diverse experiences of adults with ADHD. Together, we can build a more inclusive and understanding world.
Featured Image from TikTok @rebelwithoutadrink
@rebelwithoutadrink
Sources:
- Females with ADHD: An expert consensus statement taking a lifespan approach providing guidance for the identification and treatment of attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder in girls and women https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-020-02707-9
- Treating adolescent girls and women with ADHD: Gender-specific issues. J Clin Psychol. 2005;61:579–587. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jclp.20121
- Co-occurring symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in a population-based sample of adolescents screened for depression https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-016-0739-3